Miami is ground-zero of the potential zombie apocalypse according to the blogosphere, and while we can’t be sure the end days are near, we are willing to entertain the potential impact of zombie activity in the fair City of Miami.
With a naked man literally chewing the face of another man who was bleeding profusely and having trouble breathing when police arrived on the scene, and the fact that it reportedly took six shots to stop the man from his feeding frenzy, let’s hope that the victim has not yet ‘turned’ into a zombie as the classic tale would go.
In order for Miami residents to be prepared, along with the rest of the world as people travel and fly to and fro from our lovely tropical resort City, we have assembled some of the best the web has to offer regarding zombies. What a better place to lure the bait and spread their un-dead ways than Miami?
Being ready for the potential upcoming zombie attack is critical to your survival. We have been able to assemble some of the best practices for zombie preparedness so you can be ready in the slim chance zombies are coming. Don’t discredit the potential, even Salt Lake City has entertained the need for a Zombie Preparedness initiative with resident Wesley Wyndham-Price saying, “Zombies are fierce, they are going to catch us in there.”
The threat of zombies is so real, the Zombie Preparedness Initiative has declared a Threat Level Yellow. Their article for establishing and maintaining a post-apocalyptic community may come in handy as well.
While zombies may not be the most likely threat to civilisation, we at the Zombie Preparedness Initiative want you to have all your bases covered. Considering the multitude of possibilities a near Extinction Level Event (or ELE,) could take form, you should be prepared for any disaster. Be it nuclear warfare, a natural disaster on a global scale, viral outbreak or global civil disturbance; this guide will give you what you need to build a flourishing community amidst the chaos.
First, in order for you to be ready, you must first understand zombies.
Zombies in Plain English Video
* Zombies are the undead.
* Zombies feed on brains.
* Zombies cannot be rationed with.
How to Identify a Zombie
The key to identifying a zombie is to first recognize the three telltale signs of Zombie-ism:
- The person in question is either consuming brains, searching for brains, yelling out “braaaaaaiiiiins!” or any combination of the aforementioned signs
- The person in question resembles a corpse in skin color, medical condition, maggot infestation, or smell (and is not Mick Jagger)
- When asked, “Are you a zombie?” the person in question responds “Why yes, yes I am.” (An answer of “braaaaaaaiiiiins!” is also accepted)
– The Uninformed Guide to Everything
So, are you asking yourself how you will survive a zombie invasion? Here’s some help…
The Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide Video
If you ask the folks over at Wired, they’ll tell you:
The situation is much worse with zombies. The target – the brain – is very much smaller than with humans, and if you are a trained marksman you will reflexively aim at the body. Police officers are professionals who spend long hours training for close-quarter encounters; you probably don’t. And while the adrenaline factor may be high when you’re facing an armed suspect, a horde of shambling undead takes the terror to a different level.
There are even manuals for the US Military on Zombie Defense.
Zombie Readiness for You as a Zombie
There is always the potential that you get bit and become a zombie. In that event, you’ll need to be prepared with a variety of tools and substances to keep yourself ready for brain-eating at all times.
Ace is the Place
Our friends over at Westlake Ace Hardware have setup a page for the coming zombie apocalypse with lots of handy suggestions as shown below, in addition to their handy download of the “Zombies Guide to Decay Prevention.”
Westlake procalims to know “undeath comes with its own special set of needs. Don’t let decay and rot slow you down. Westlake’s Delay Decay Experts are here to help, with all you need to keep yourself in one piece.”
“Just because you’re rotting doesn’t mean your home has to smell like it. Westlake has all you need for home maintenance, so you can keep up with the living.”
We hope that this collection of materials has provided you some educational information and direction on how to be prepared and survive the potential zombie apocalypse from ground zero in Miami Florida.
Media says it’s a Zombie situation
- The Hollywood Gossip:
“Zombie Apocalypse in Miami: Naked Man Killed By Police After Eating Face of Victim“
- Examiner says:
“Police shoot naked cannibal during zombie attack in Miami“
- Charleston City Paper:
“Zombie attack in Miami: What you need to know“
- International Business Times:
“Zombie Apocalypse Becomes Reality in Miami as Police Shoot Naked, Mindless Man Literally Eating the Face Off Another Man“
“The Zombie Apocalypse Has Begun“
Lots of pixels are being rendered regarding this zombie-esque situation.
Have you experienced any zombie activity recently? Be sure to comment below.